Monday, May 11, 2009

Remember all the other Mother Day's I remembered, Mom?

23 up til now... well, 21 or 22... I guess dad reminding me that night doesn't count.

BUT THOSE ARE SUCH GOOD ODDS! I've remembered so many times, 23 out of 24 years?! If that's not a loyal son, than who is?

If we were to use an analogy for this, let's say that one day I said the entire day, all 24 hours, I would spend celebrating mother's day. And then I took a one hour nap in the middle of the day. Would anyone blame me for that? No, I don't think so. So yesterday was just me taking a metaphorical "nap." Yeah, that's exactly right! I was just taking a nap so that next mother's day I will be able to party EXTRA HARD! Just for you! I forgot just so you could have a better one next year. It was on purpose, for sure.

Look... I guess I just want you to know that I love you... and hope you have/had a happy mother's day.

...also if you and dad could still take me out to dinner when you come to NY and visit I'd appreciate that too.

Previous Mother's Day gifts that should make up for the lack of one this year

  • A box of Red Pencils when you were a teacher.

  • A painting I made when I was 5

  • Joseph Campbells A Hero with a Thousand Faces

  • reading lamp

  • Bill moyer's power of myth interview with Joseph Campbell

  • My eternal love

  • That phone call when i was in college

  • Joseph Campbell's dead corpse

See! I'm a good son... that's why I didn't get you something this year... I'm still paying off that fine for digging up Joseph Campbell.

I feel like Eminem

I'm sorry momma
I never meant to forget mother's da-ee-ay
I never meant to neglect you
but tonight
I'm going to call you because I forgot to yesterday and I'm feeling more and more guilty about it as the day progresses.


What is mother's day anyway?

Mother's day isn't a real holiday right? It's just something that was created by hallmark so that they could make a bunch of money. It's a sham... a corporate holiday that is only benefiting the rich.

So when I forgot about Mother's Day, mom, it wasn't because I have a bad memory and I am so self centered that I just forgot about the most important people in my life... no, not at all... it was me acting out against corporate America! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THE EXPLOITATION OF THE WORKING CLASS!


I promise I won't forget your birthday...